It's scenes like this that simultaneously qualify and disqualify Wood from his legendary worst-ever status. Yes, the dialogue is hair-raisingly stupid, but it can't be the worst if it's so entertaining, can it?
SW - Wood's dialogue is astonishing on many levels. It is entertaining but only because it is so monstrously bad. I often don't go with the whole "so bad it's good" idea of entertainment. Most bad movies are just bad to me. But PLAN 9 is an exception. I find it immensely entertaining and just watching a few quick scenes on my DVD last night cheered me up.
Yeah, but at least I can see what Wood was TRYING to say with the sunlight line. The shoe thing, though...it's like he's comparing a pair of shoes to the same pair of shoes. It's a frickin' Mobius strip, that line. It's the symbol for eternity re-worked as a shoe metaphor.
No, I've only seen Glen or Glenda, Bride of the Monster, & Plan 9, the last two of which came together in a DVD twofer deal I picked up a few years back.
I hear it's a sequel to Bride. I'll see if it's available on DVD and if so, I'm on it!
It's kind of a mash-up of the entire Wood oeuvre, set in the Lobo house of Bride of the Monster. Anything with a sham swami named "Dr. Acula" (clad in turban, 'natch) should be required viewing.
Night of the Ghouls with Apocalypto? Let no one call you a lightweight. I couldn't possibly handle that much torque.
One of several interesting Night of the Ghouls trivia points: made in 1959, it wasn't released until the early 1980s. Wood couldn't pay the lab bill back in '59, so it sat on the shelf until someone squared the debt near the beginning of the home video revolution, after Ed had died.
Meanwhile, if you're into "I Predict" Criswell, check out the A.C. Stephens/Ed Wood Orgy of the Dead (1966). The hootchie mama dances quickly become redundant, but Criswell appears to be bombed out of his skull.
Criswell's in great form in Orgy. He gets an introductory speech that's right up there with his opener for Plan 9. Stranger yet, perhaps, is the film sometimes called The Revenge of Dr. X, made in Japan from a Wood screenplay and starring U.S. has-been James Craig as a mad scientist who says, "I refuse the word impossible!" while cultivating a giant plant-creature.
31 comments:
That's a deep conversation to be having after being in a photo booth, y'know??
I recognize that set! Laugh all you want to about Ed Wood, Jr., but his films are always entertaining and never boring.
Fox - A visit to the photo booth would indicate visitors.
Peter - I would laugh but I can't. Muzzled by army brass.
another quality Wood production
Quality = Wood.
So many "quality wood" jokes to be made here... but I'll take that kind of filth over to Bill's blog instead.
I would laugh but I can't. Muzzled by army brass....
I didn't know you played the trumpet when you were in the corp. I'm glad to hear you're still playing.
Fox, all I know is Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody's responsible.
It's scenes like this that simultaneously qualify and disqualify Wood from his legendary worst-ever status. Yes, the dialogue is hair-raisingly stupid, but it can't be the worst if it's so entertaining, can it?
This swamp is a monument to death. Snakes, alligators, quicksand... all bent on one thing: destruction.
Different movie, but still.
SW - Wood's dialogue is astonishing on many levels. It is entertaining but only because it is so monstrously bad. I often don't go with the whole "so bad it's good" idea of entertainment. Most bad movies are just bad to me. But PLAN 9 is an exception. I find it immensely entertaining and just watching a few quick scenes on my DVD last night cheered me up.
Bill, all I know is in my land, women are for advancing the race, not for fighting man's battles.
From yet another movie:
A wool or flannel robe, his feet encased in the same thick, tight-fitting leather that his shoes are made of...
That bit about the shoes...that has absolutely baffled me for years and years.
That bit about the shoes...that has absolutely baffled me for years and years....
Yeah, Wood's lines were baffling at times. His scientific dialogue in Plan 9 is unbelievable even for a five year old. Like this line:
"Why, a particle of sunlight can't even be seen or measured."
Yeah, that's right, now that I think about it I never have seen the sun! Or light!
Yeah, but at least I can see what Wood was TRYING to say with the sunlight line. The shoe thing, though...it's like he's comparing a pair of shoes to the same pair of shoes. It's a frickin' Mobius strip, that line. It's the symbol for eternity re-worked as a shoe metaphor.
Hey Greg, how about you and me balling it up in Albuquerque?
Yeah, but at least I can see what Wood was TRYING to say with the sunlight line...
You can? No, I know what you mean. It's like saying his was covered by a garment of wool made of the same material his hat was made of.
Flickhead, that might cause a Solaranite explosion. I don't want to take the chance.
Greg, have you seen Night of the Ghouls? As I remember, it was farther Out There than anything else by Wood.
No, I've only seen Glen or Glenda, Bride of the Monster, & Plan 9, the last two of which came together in a DVD twofer deal I picked up a few years back.
I hear it's a sequel to Bride. I'll see if it's available on DVD and if so, I'm on it!
It's kind of a mash-up of the entire Wood oeuvre, set in the Lobo house of Bride of the Monster. Anything with a sham swami named "Dr. Acula" (clad in turban, 'natch) should be required viewing.
You can get it @ Netflix!
Night of the Ghouls is batshit. I never saw the whole thing, but Jesus...it's out there.
I just added it and moved it up. Oh boy! I'll soon be having a double feature of Apocalypto and Night of the Ghouls.
That shit is gonna rock!
Night of the Ghouls with Apocalypto? Let no one call you a lightweight. I couldn't possibly handle that much torque.
One of several interesting Night of the Ghouls trivia points: made in 1959, it wasn't released until the early 1980s. Wood couldn't pay the lab bill back in '59, so it sat on the shelf until someone squared the debt near the beginning of the home video revolution, after Ed had died.
Meanwhile, if you're into "I Predict" Criswell, check out the A.C. Stephens/Ed Wood Orgy of the Dead (1966). The hootchie mama dances quickly become redundant, but Criswell appears to be bombed out of his skull.
I love Orgy of the Dead. It's an amazing film. The timing of some of the transitions from bad, "serious" horror to topless dancing are hilarious.
"Torture, torture! It pleasures me!"
I want to see Orgy and Night just for the screengrabs.
And Criswell of course.
Criswell's in great form in Orgy. He gets an introductory speech that's right up there with his opener for Plan 9. Stranger yet, perhaps, is the film sometimes called The Revenge of Dr. X, made in Japan from a Wood screenplay and starring U.S. has-been James Craig as a mad scientist who says, "I refuse the word impossible!" while cultivating a giant plant-creature.
I agree with everything everybody said.
James Craig as a mad scientist who says, "I refuse the word impossible!" while cultivating a giant plant-creature...
I have never accepted that word either. In fact, using it would be impossible because... DAMMIT!
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