I don't know who any of these people are. I do know that the parents of the kids in the photo immediately below should expect some industrial-size vomiting later in the day. Below them is a girl on an Easter Egg Hunt on the White House lawn, 80 years ago in 1929, standing with what appears to be a hastily constructed bunny made by a blindfolded chimpanzee. And finally three women prepare for an Easter Parade, at least according to the photo captions and no, I don't know what in the hell they're doing either. But they're kind of creepy. So there you have it. Enjoy!
42 comments:
I'd like the think the two older women in the third picture (and the fourth and fifth, of course) will ultimately start kissing the neck of the girl in the chair, unbuttoning her Easter outfit and fondling her breasts as their canine teeth tear into the supple flesh of her neck and they make her their undead sister in blood.
They actually have pictures of that but they're kind of blurry and dark. Also the bunny explodes in the seventh picture of the series and decapitates one of the older women.
Greg, you always post the most boring pictures from these series. We want to see the undead women and exploding bunnies, damn it.
Did I mention the flamethrower? Cause that plays a big part in the ninth picture.
I was going to say, before Greg revealed where these pictures are heading, that those women were going to fuck the shit out of that Easter bunny. Guess I'm wrong!
Maybe if he hadn't exploded.
By the way, "Cake Wrecks" has some real winners up today. I about fell out of my chair!
You guys are sick
-Sent from my iPhone while at Good Friday services.
I'll just pretend Bill didn't make that comment.
Fox, is that a special atheist service? Since you know, you're an atheist. Do they just show The Long Good Friday with Bob Hoskins or something?
I'm probably better classified as agnostic. Maybe. Right?
But regardless... they actually played The Long Goodbye by accident, which I was ok with.
I'm a Flagnostic. I don't really believe in flags.
I'm a Mathiest.
I'm also a Prognostic. I don't believe in prog-rock. (I'm also good at predictions).
Greg, if you're Flagnostic, then you haven't decided if flags exist or not.
What I like best about "Cake Wrecks" is the blogger's commentary. She'll say things like, "That cake gave me nightmares!" or "That cake is creepy!" or "That cake makes NOOOO sense!" She's a really clever writer.
I'm worried about Bill. He's been on in a Cake Wrecks mind set for awhile now.
Oh, and The Long Good Friday is a really good movie.
"Cake Wrecks" has a post on cakes shaped like lambs, and it has received 260 comments.
First off, I don't know whether flags exist or not. I think they're an illusion
Second, I don't disagree with the idea of cakewrecks. The Invisible Edge is obviously operating under roughly the same rules; find a picture of something ripe for sardonic commentary and roll with it. It's just that the writer, in my opinion, SUCKS! HARD! And yet the vast majority of our mediocre citizenship don't seem to give a flying shit.
Three, I'm also a Baytheist. I don't believe in Michael Bay.
It's just that the writer, in my opinion, SUCKS! HARD!
Oh, she's terrible. I was using sarcasm earlier.
Why a vendetta against that shitty blog? Is Greg just jealous because this Jen character (if that is here REAL name) gets more comments than he does?
Because I totally am. Let's get her.
Bill, I not only got that you were using sarcasm, I thought it was funny. But cakewrecks readers wouldn't haven't gotten you. At all. That would have flown right over their heads.
Ryan, I have no issues with her, except that I hate her.
Seriously though, the whole thing started a while ago when I was bitching to Fox about how much mediocrity reigns supreme. Look at the technorati top 100 and believe you me, about 90 or so are truly shithole blogs. 10 or so are good to excellent but the majority I have found are just bad. You know, like "I can haz cheeseburger" with the "funny" cat pictures (there aren't scare quotes big enough to go around the word "funny" there). That blog actually makes thousands in revenue each year. Aaarrrggghhh!!!
Think of all your favorite movie blogs. Unless MTV or Cinematical are among them, and they shouldn't be, no decent movie blogs are actually popular beyond people who actually know and love movies.
So there, now I'm venting again.
But, you can't tell a majority of the populace gravitating towards the low to middle brow is unique to the world of blogging. And yes, so many of the more popular movie blogs are incredibly lacking in genuine discourse, and it's a problem. But the only way to combat it is to continue fighting the good fight with writing based on substance and a unique world-view. It's a lot to ask, but I like David Bordwell's formula for thoughtful criticism:
ideas + information + opinion + good or great writing
Now, the only problem is getting there!
Supposedly the dude(s) from I Can Has Cheezburger made $2 million dollars when they sold the site.
I don't have a problem with I Can Has Cheezburgers though. I don't "LOL" when I go to site, but I do think some of it is cute. But mostly I'm just envious how such a simple idea blossomed into a profitable venture.
Now... Cake Wrecks. I don't get that site at all. I think its boring, not cute, not even worthy of a harmless smile. My guess is that the visitors of that site are the same people that watch something like The Today Show or The View.
Ryan-
I've never been to David Bordwells site, but I remember Greg mentioning that the comments are off on his blog. That's kind of a bummer. I mean, to each his own, there are plenty of sites I go to and just read and leave no comments, but one of the things (probably THE thing) I love about the movie blogs I frequent are the comments & discussions attached to them.
My guess is that the visitors of that site are the same people that watch something like The Today Show or The View.
Yeah, that would be my guess too and that's an excellent way to put it. I would have also thrown in watching Oprah.
but one of the things (probably THE thing) I love about the movie blogs I frequent are the comments & discussions attached to them.
Yes, that still bugs me about Bordwell's "blog." The thing is every post has a comment link but if you click on it you get "comments closed" at the bottom so... why have the comments at all? It's perplexing. I like Bordwell's writing and occasionally read his pieces but there's this nagging feeling that he doesn't want his supreme ideas and thoughts challenged on his own blog by the great unwashed masses.
Or by people who watch the Today Show.
I cry fowl on the notion that Bordwell's an elitist stuck on his views, quite the opposite. It's not an internet rule that a website have comments open! I think his blog used to have comments, but he's closed them since. I agree, one of the most enjoyable things about the internet is the ability to directly engage with the writer, but I still consider his blog more of an online lecture hall than anything else.
But you can still engage with him on the points he makes and disagree with him. His e-mail is in the top-right corner of his page, and I've e-mailed him on several things and he's gotten back to me on almost every one (and one I sent him was about a post that I didn't realize was quite old at the time), and he's even made 'corrections' based on what I e-mailed him and added a little addendum thanking me. Quite the contrary, he knows that understanding film is an ongoing, collaborative process. Why he doesn't have comments open is his business, considering it's his blog! I'd imagine it got time-consuming, considering his large readership.
So, I'm guessing Ryan is the secret illegitimate son of David Bordwell or something.
Ryan, I will cast no further aspersions upon the good name of David Bordwell. I will only say that this part - I still consider his blog more of an online lecture hall - is precisely the feeling I get from his blog too. He himself is a fine writer but it's the lack of engagement and the feel of "I'm teaching you" that just doesn't appeal to me. If it does to you or anyone else that's obviously perfectly fine. Didn't mean to offend.
Greg, you didn't offend me in the slightest (are you joking BILL R. STYLE again?), I was just offering an alternate view. But yes, I think he's just essential reading, comments or no.
And I'm no one's illegitimate son. I just materialized here. I am a being of pure energy.
I didn't think you were offended. And by the way, I am a being of pure synergy. I was conceived by two catchphrases.
I agree with Ryan: Bordwell's site is essential reading. His writing about film style is some of the best I've seen at linking form and aesthetics to the thematic and character elements of a film. I like sites with comments but I see what Bordwell's doing as more akin to a journal essay. I don't think he's an elitist -- like Ryan I've exchanged very friendly emails with him -- and I'd imagine he turned off comments because it was just too much hassle to keep track of.
Either that or I'm just his illegitimate son too.
I'm actually David Bordwell's illegitimate father.
I'm consistently disappointed, and a little threatened, by the content on his site.
My God...
Ed Howard is my illegitimate brother...
I KNEW IT! Bastards of Bordwell...unite!
Ed, Ryan - Once he's done with the festival I'll read him some more. Festival write-ups bore me but just so you know, I actually read Bordwell first about 25 years ago. In my Analyzing Films textbook he has an essay in it. Years later when I came upon his website I was all excited. But then I didn't really read the blog. I'll give him another look.
BLH - I'm consistently disappointed, and a little threatened, by the content on his site. I've only been threatened once, when he sent me an e-mail saying if I ran my negative review of Viva Knievel I'd regret it for the rest of my life. Scared the hell out of me. Suffice it to say, I didn't run the piece.
David Bordwell is Satan.
He's also an academic from another era, before blogging became a thing. His "blog" is another outlet for his and his wife's writing. He's not being elitist, he's being an academic. I've learned a lot from his blog; there are several of his pieces I go to consistently when putting together my own poor film lectures.
I wish mediocrity would rule - if people would only set their sights that high. But I've already said enough about John Kenneth Muir.
In the land of the mediocre... the moderately talented blogger is King.
Rick, I just really haven't read much Bordwell online but I have no doubt from his essays and textbooks I have read that he is an excellent writer. Now go to hell loser... uh... I mean Happy Easter!
Arbo remember, Muir is able to construct a book that shows off an amazing research effort without coming off as too academic.
I still love that line. People with Wikipedia vanity pages are sad, saaaad people in my book. No one outside of Muir ever put that page on Wikipedia. What a putz.
In the land of the mediocre... the moderately talented blogger is King.
A motto is born.
In the land of the mediocre... the moderately talented blogger is King.
Shut up and kiss my ring!
Shut up and kiss my ring!
If you were the Pope my ex-wife would.
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