The Ritz Brothers perform for a patriotic rally in 1951, I Am An American Day, not to be confused with Citizenship, or Constitution, Day (an actual Federal Holiday) which falls on September 17th each year and was formerly known as I am an American Day before becoming an official holiday in 2004. No, no, this was an entirely different patriotic rally. "Huh? What?" you ask. It doesn't matter. What matters is the Ritz Brothers were old school entertainers. The kind who kept the show going even if children were being traumatized. Case in point, these photos. (and for God's sake, click to enlarge, especially the last two, for the full effect).
Here's Jimmy, Harry and Al mugging for the camera. Harry, in the middle, has a freakish tan that gives him an even more psychotic appearance than his usual mugging already provides.
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Onto a trademark dance routine. They're having a great time and the audience is loving it (we assume).
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Now Harry decides it would be a good idea to pick up a kid from the front row and have some fun with him. The kid is clearly terrified but that doesn't stop the other two from wanting to join in the fun. This has to qualify as one of the most unintentionally disturbing celebrity shots I've ever seen.
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Finally, with all three holding the child, and Harry now looking especially demonic, a final photo is snapped before the child is left to move on with his now traumatized childhood. As Tom Sutpen might say, They Were Unwilling Collaborators.
61 comments:
Wow... the blurry, mostly unexplored territory where vaudeville entertainment meets child kidnapping.
Ed, that third photo... it gives me chills. And yet, the utter disregard for the child makes it amusing in an uneasy I-shouldn't-be-laughing-at-this kind of a way.
Which one is the guy with the disheveled hair in the back in the third photo? Because something about his sweaty, drunken appearance matched with his apparent zeal for accosting that child makes the hair on my arms stand up.
That's Al! And you're right, I was so possessed by Harry I hadn't noticed Al's gaping mouth as he plunges forward with a fervor, hellbent on destroying the kid's childhood.
It's like he's thinking, "Oh boy, a little kid, I can't wait to get my hands on him and..." Etc. It's just disturbing.
Why's it so quiet everywhere today? And yesterday? Well, I could go to Fox's place, but I haven't seen the movie he wrote up, so...
Oh my god... that poor kid! The dude to the kid's left looks like a scary mix of Willem Defoe and Vincent Gallo with some particulary evil urges.
Bill, I was just thinking the same thing. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone episode, "Where is Everybody?"
I think people don't slack off as much on their jobs as you or I do.
Actually, scratch that. I don't think anyone has the talent, skill and titanic intellect to do their job AND surf the blogs, like you and I do.
Yeah, that's much better.
Yeah, Fox, that's Harry, the one I was talking about in the post. He is FREAKY looking! Poor kid. I'm sure he did tons of drugs in the sixties and forgot all about it.
And Bill, Jarvis is always around on Friday. Lonely and ignored, as always.
So now even Bill has disappeared.
Alas.
I did what now?
I did what now?
You bemoaned that no one was around today, which they're not, and then disappeared yourself. My co-workers had to come me down. I was shouting into the computer, "Bill? Bill!? Where are you?!"
They told me everything would be okay and patted me on the head. Then they gave me a cookie.
Greg,
I know this is off-topic, but the on-topic thread now has 111 comments, so...Anyway, I just wanted to say hello to your real name, and to tell you how much I enjoyed that very thoughtful post. It kind of threw me when I logged on-- does Jonathan have a guest blogger this week?, I thought-- but it's nice to know your real name, and I look forward to the changes in the blog over the coming months.
Thanks Brian, glad to hear from you. And just so everyone knows, for future reference, I get e-mail notifications on comments so if someone comments on a post a year old I'll still know about it and go respond (which does happen occassionally).
It's nice to have the pseudonym thing finally out of the way. But I had to re-do about ten banners, the above being one of them, that I made in the last several months because they have the wrong name in them now.
I wonder what Brian's real name is. Zeke, I bet.
I think it's Josh.
This is random...
But I'm really excited for The Serpent's Egg next month. I've never seen it and can't wait too.
I hope Bill isn't looking like that little kid with the Ritz Bros. right about now from worrying. I don't know why Bill worries so much... he always does such a good job.
I'm excited for The Serpent's Egg, too. It's such a truly bizarre movie, I can't wait to see what everyone makes of it. Bill, no pressure, though if you don't do a good job we're all gonna converge on you like a bunch of Ritz brothers on a baby.
I think I just coined a phrase.
He should worry, I expect perfection! Anything less and I'll tell everyone to stay away that day.
So anyway, no pressure Bill, but you're up next at TOERIFC.
Enjoy!
Ed, I get to be Harry, the crazy one.
I'm coming for ya Bill!
What the hell, guys!! I'm scared enough as it is!! I was even thinking of watching the movie and writing about it this weekend so that I'd have nearly a month for tweaking!
We're coming for you, Bill, with our beady child-scaring eyes and maniacal grins and mussed-up hair...
In all seriousness, you have nothing to worry about. I've never been less than impressed by one of your posts -- I'm sure you'll start off a great discussion.
Ed, for a second there I thought you wrote "I've never been less impressed with one of your posts." And I thought, "Which one?? I thought that one was good, probably!"
Anyway, thanks. And I gave you all a shout-out, of sorts, over at my swingin' pad!
There's nothing to be scared about. I got all anxious about mine because it was a post that felt like an obligation since it had a due date and people knew it was coming. Even a blogathon entry, like my last brilliant one for Ed's blogathon, is totally optional and can happen when you want it to.
It was the deadline and expectation that I didn't like but I was never worried that my post itself would be all wrong or anything.
I hope Ed is impressed by my posts too. I'm not only impressed with Ed's but with his quantity too. That guy reviews like 12 movies a week practically.
Well, I'm scared, because I'm trying something a little different: I'm going to write the post like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. Hope it works!
Yeah... seriously. Ed puts so many posts up that I can't keep up. It's insane. Maybe he doesn't sleep or he has three brains and six hands.
Greg, I wouldn't be reading if I didn't find your posts consistently entertaining and enlightening. I'm always impressed by all the bloggers on my blogroll, most of whom are daily visits for me.
Once, I was going to reply to Ed's Watchmen review, which had gone up earlier in the day, only to find it had been pushed from the top by another review. I was confused.
I aim for confusion. Mission accomplished! Yes!
Ed, since you had a new post up, I thought it must be two days later, and I went into a panic. I thought I'd missed my shows!
Ed, I've commented on your posts and got no reply. I only bring that up because it made me cry when it happened and my wife had to comfort me. But then I realized you move at hyperspeed and my comment was probably at too slow a speed for you to see it.
Yea, I'm unfortunately very bad with comments. Maybe that's why I don't get more. But I tend to reply only when I can think of something substantial to say rather than just, "thanks for the comment." I didn't mean to make you cry though. Now, Bill, on the other hand, I meant to make him cry.
Understood. I go for the same effect with Bill.
I'm going to make you all cry. A site called Motionography posted a link to my The Dot and the Line review, and I got 608 hits to it in 4 hours...as opposed to the link of the timely Gothic I sent to my "sister" site, where it wasn't posted and probably would have generated 5 or 6 clickthroughs at most. I'm doing something wrong here.
Am I the first one up? [Scratches butt.]
Time to send some love letters (and money) over to Motionography. Thanks for the tip. I'll review whatever they want me to.
Hey, everyone, it's Jeff Goldblum!
Actually, Greg, Motionography looks like a site you'd get a lot out of.
And you're going to kill me for this, but I miss calling you Jonathan. It's got a certain ring.
I knew that pseudonym was a bad idea. It went on too long and now everyone's used to it. Curses!
I got 608 hits to it in 4 hours
Are you okay???
Maybe if I called you Gregory for a while, I could ease into Greg.
Bill - Just a little dazed and confused, thanks. Send Excedrin.
You can call me Gregory if you like. No one does but you could, no problem.
But for everybody else it's Greg. Marilyn is a special exception.
And you're going to kill me for this, but I miss calling you Jonathan. It's got a certain ring.
I agree. Jonathan was a nice name. Monosyllabic names suck.
Marilyn, what's your "sister" site.
Beachwood Reporter.
I like being a special exception as opposed to an ordinary exception.
Ahh... it's called Motionographer. I was struggling there for a second to find this place.
But congrats Marilyn. That's awesome. I'm still more envious about your Roger Ebert link. That was awesome.
Bill R. linked to me once.
I got 608 hits to it in 4 hours
Just like Rihanna!
Arbo - Bad taste, less filling!
Bad taste, less filling!
I was about to make a blowjob joke, but them remembered that the "blowjob talk" is happening at Bill's place right now.
**I just increased the hits on Bill's site by 200.
Just like Rihanna!
New favorite phrase:
we're all gonna converge on you like a bunch of Ritz brothers on a baby
Is Harry trying to eat that poor child?
I could use some crazy Ritz Brother action right about now Kassy. The afternoon took quite an unexpected turn. And yes, I believe babies were a staple of Harry's diet.
Arbo, Fox made a Rihanna joke at the Edge today. Something's in the air.
It's probably Arbo at 18,000 feet without oxygen.
Them Ritz guys is crackers!!!
Bada Bing!
That's for both Marilyn and Peter, the new May and Nichols.
Jarvis is to Greg F. what Rihanna is to Chris Brown.
Sadly, we haven't reached a point where robot/android abuse is frowned upon.
What's The Edge?
The Edge is the epicenter of worthless, pointless idiotic commentary on the web. I'm quite proud of it.
It's also known as that blog you've never placed on your blogroll. But don't worry, almost no one has. I blame it on Jarvis.
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