Ed Howard at Only the Cinema, or for the high-minded, Seul le Cinema, has an Early Howard Hawks Blogathon going on and I promised I'd participate. I was all ready. I had a plan. And it was a good plan. Well, not that good, but it was an okay plan. Okay, it was a crappy plan, haphazardly thought out and meagerly researched. But still, it was a plan of some kind and that's worth something right? See, there's this early Howark Hawks film from 1928, Fazil, starring Charles Farrell as an Arab who falls in love with a French woman played by Greta Nissen. Charles being an All-American New Englander and Greta being Norwegian didn't seem to get in the way at all, as these things usually didn't back then. Apparently, from what I read, they put a pencil-thin moustache on old Charlie, darkened his complexion by about one thousandth of a percent and BAM! he was an Arab.
So after reading about that and how the movie was a romance and not like Hawks other work at all I decided, "That's the film I'm going to do for Ed's blogathon." No DVD available? No problem. Surely, somebody, somewhere, has put it online right? And hey, I got software that can grab anything online, anywhere, any site, any security system. If it's a movie and it's online I can save it to my hard drive, burn it, and study it again and again.
Just one problem. It wasn't anywhere online. Not that I could find. And I looked. Hell, I scoured. I went to those European rarity sites where they have Finnish erotica from 1908 and women in the forties doing funny things with Coke bottles and animated stories about tulip farmers or some such thing. Nothing. I went to the Internet Archive. Nothing. Hulu. Nothing. I Googled like hell and Yahooed like there was no tomorrow. Nothing. Hell, I got so desperate I even tried Daily Motion, the ridiculed, befuddled, bastard child of YouTube and got... Nothing.
So then it comes down to this week and the blogathon ends on Friday. "Screw it," I says, "I'll put up a still from the damn movie and call it even." I came up with this:
That's the full size version of the still. Yeah, it's crap. So I kept looking and came upon this:
And what is that you ask? It's two wax figures of Charles Farrell and Janet Gaynor in Seventh Heaven. Holy Butt Bomb! That is one pathetic wax figure of Janet Gaynor! But anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I think, is that I lose all interest in Fazil and the Movieland Wax Museum in Buena Park, California usurps my thoughts and becomes my new dream destination. Check out the Harold Lloyd figure:
My God, it's dreadful! It's an atrocity! I must see it in person! But wait, there's more! Here's Marilyn Monroe from The Asphalt Jungle:
Holy shit! It's a goddamn Barbie doll! This museum has quickly gone from dream destination to MUST-SEE-MECCA! Wanna see West Side Story? Of course you do! Here it is:
Jesus Christ! Did they raid my seven year old's toy chest? To paraphrase Max von Sydow in Hannah and Her Sisters, "If Madam Tussuad came back from the dead and saw the figures in this museum she'd never stop throwing up."
Finally I see this shot of Cantinflas and think, "That's it! I'm quitting my job tomorrow and heading west and I'm not stopping until I get there!"
Then I read the news that hits me like a wet sack of dead jellyfish on a cold day at Coney Island: IT'S CLOSED! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Depression sets in and it only gets worse. I start finding testimonials online from Californians who visited it and have wonderful memories of it. How could they not? Had I ever gone there that would be all I talk or write about ever! I find personal photos people have put up online standing next to the most unimaginably bad wax rendering of Frankenstein's Monster humanly possible. And they loved it! And I would have too if only I'd gotten the chance to see it before it closed in 2005. Yes, 2005! Soooo close. I just missed it.
Finally, I calm down as the inevitable acceptance creeps in. It's over, it's gone, it's closed. There's nothing I can do about it. I go back to searching for Fazil photos but my heart's just not in it anymore. All I can think about is Movieland. Sweet, wonderful, magical Movieland. I bet they had a Howard Hawks movie or two there. Maybe even Fazil. And if so, I bet Greta Nissen looked magnificent. Simply magnificent!
*************
This post has been, in a very odd and roundabout way, a part of Ed Howard's Early Howard Hawks Blogathon at Only the Cinema.
36 comments:
JL: I would have loved that place, too! But I think they still do the Hollywood death tour, where you ride in a converted hearse and pass by the death spots of Peter Lorre, Sal Mineo, Jack Webb and William Frawley. Can't beat that. It's worth going for that alone. When I took that tour, Alan Ladd's little chatty granddaughter was on the tour. She kept saying, "I know Bette. I know Goldie." But she became curiously quiet when we stopped by Alan Ladd's house.
Oh, by the way, if I say: That's a still from "Fazil." Do I get a point? Shouldn't I get a point just for being here before Bill and Arboghost?
Larry, you get two big points! Points that are metaphorical in nature and don't really exist in the real world of Name that Movie tallying. But in my heart they're as real as possible.
A death tour in a hearse, with Alan Ladd's granddaughter! How old was she? Do the gravesites have wax figures by Movieland standing over the tombstone?
Hahah nice job Jonathan. I could've told you that Fazil was impossible to find: I looked EVERYWHERE for all of Hawks' early silents, and the only one I was able to find was A Girl In Every Port (which is great). The others are curiously MIA, though I think that Fazil at least exists in some form, somewhere, just not in a digital form. Anyway, this was an entertaining post despite the vanished Arab Prince.
I must see William Frawley's death spot. And William Frawley's Death Spot is going to be my new band name.
Ed - I hope you liked it. It was a sincere post. That really is how it all played out. Fazil was my choice, and then work and other things forced me to put it off until it was too late and I couldn't find it anywhere and then I came across that pic of Farrell in the wax museum and, well, I just couldn't focus on Fazil after that. Movieland Wax Museum will live in my dreams forever.
Bill, I'm going to start telling people I have two primary goals in life: Re-Open Movieland Wax Museum, with all the original figures and any new ones are to be constructed by a cadre of trained chimps so that the quality matches the originals and two, see William Frawley's death spot.
When my two goals confuse them ("Movieland? What? William Frawley? Huh?") I'll just say, "It's a Larry, Bill, Jonathan thing. You wouldn't understand."
I vaguely recall actually seeing Fazil, probably through William K. Everson's class that I took. We're talking about thirty-eight years ago. The only other possibility was at the Museum of Modern Art.
We should probably have our annual Gathering of Bloggers at William Frawley's death spot. Jonathan, you bring the ribs, and I'll be the napkin guy.
Peter, I'm currently reading through The Detective in Film by Everson (it's where I got the Dr. Broadway scan from) and would've loved to have taken a class with him. What an incredible archivist. He covers everything in that book, including serials and characters most of us have never even heard of as well as low-budget serials that most writers would ignore (like the Captain America and Batman serials). Pretty incredible.
Not as incredible as Movieland, but still.
Fazil seems pretty tasty, if it ever turns up. As for the wax museum, this one may be closed but So. California is loaded with odd film museums. I visited a really small one in Palm Springs that's probably closed by now.
BTW, did you see that Happy-Go-Lucky was nominated for original screenplay ONLY (and that's weird since it starts as improvisation from the actors)?
I haven't seen most of the nominated films, but I did see one of the animated shorts, Lavatory -Lovestory. You can view the whole thing here:http://ferdyonfilms.com/2008/10/2008-ciff-animation-nations.php
Bill, let's do it. What should we call ourselves? I'll make the grape/sprite punch too.
Marilyn,
I saw the nominations and I don't know, but they really seem like a joke to me this year. I'm going to put a post up a little later on my reactions.
And if Arbo or Kimberly chime in at some point, being Californians and all, they can tell us what good, and by good I mean bad, wax museums are still in existence that we could all go visit.
Jonathan, in all seriousness I really did enjoy this post. I know the frustration of looking for a film that just cannot be found.
What should we call ourselves?
The Mertz Alliance?
I've seen almost none of the nominated films, and even I'm stunned that what's-er-name from Happy Go Lucky got the shaft. I guess Melissa Leo (who is supposed to be excellent in Frozen River took the Obscure Actress spot, while Richard Jenkins (who I love, but I refuse to see The Visitor) took that honor in the Best Actor category.
Robert Downey, Jr. got nominated, though. That's nice. Best Picture, however, is boring as shit.
Mertz Ado About Nothing? Mertz Puts You in the Driver's Seat? Mertz and Moskowitz?
Mertz Ado About Blogging??
Does anybody know what movie William Frawley saw before he collapsed on Hollywood Boulevard? If they brought him to the Knickerbocker Hotel, he could easily have been at the Ivar. March 3, 1966, Ivar Theater... somebody get on this.
Marilyn, Bill - I love those names. Let's pick one soon. I'll make a banner.
Arbo - I'm on it. I will find out the answer.
Ed - Thanks, I really thought I could find it. Alas.
Obviously, I want "Mertz Ado About Blogging".
That is one pathetic wax figure of Janet Gaynor!
I thought it WAS Janet Gaynor ... she always looked waxen to me.
"The Mertz-y Killers"
I like Mertz and Moskowitz. It makes us sound like a ambulance-chasing law firm.
Clearly, we are at an impasse.
OK, Bill, you win. Damn!
Yay!!
Nobody liked "the Mertz-y killers?" I am devastated.
That's too dark, Rick. What, would we all wear black t-shirts with a picture of William Frawley on the front, with a big red X over his face?
Yes!!!
That's too dark, Rick. What, would we all wear black t-shirts with a picture of William Frawley on the front, with a big red X over his face?
Bill, you're a genius!!! I'm going to start making those right now!
No, you guys!
I actually live less than a mile from the Movieland Museum still stands. I missed the closing, having not been there since I was a child and they also had a "Palace of Living Art" there, doing to fine art what they'd also done to movies, and when I was totally freaked out by some recreation of a painting of Salome with John the Baptist's head. (As a Jewish six or seven year-old, I wasn't up on the Bible story...but I knew a cut off head when I saw one!)
I guess I should hang my still-attached head in shame.
Arboghost, I'm way to lazy to do the research, but I do know that in the eighties the Ivar was a strip club. One of their bouncers was the legendary il Duce of the legendarily awful punk rock band, the Mentors, who later found their greatest fame being quoted by Tipper Gore with lyrics to such classics as "Women from Sodom."
I've no idea if it was also a strip club in 1966, but I'd like to think so.
I've actually been to the Knickerbocker more than once. They don't exactly have a marker up for Frawley's death spot, but it is cool.
Bob! That's what that is! See, when I saw this picture I just assumed the "Palace of Living Art" was akin to a subtitle name for the wax museum. Wow! So they had paintings brought to life too?!
God, if only there were a time machine that I could use to go back there. Now it sounds even more magical than before!
And now there's a Starbucks when the duck pond used to be...
Starbucks really knows how to ruin everything.
thanks a lot of;
Films gratuit
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