Stars don't hawk sin products anymore. There was a time when that's all they attached their name to. Now it's beauty lotions, diets and exercise machines but back in the day Hedy Lamarr was proud to announce, for a bit of money, that Schaefer was a fine tasting beer. Okay, it must have been a lot of money. Here are some top ads from 1945, 1946 and 1947 (taken from my collection of Broadway Playbills of the period). Sadly, a couple of these stars died thanks to the products they were pushing.
That's Tyrone Power? That's the guy from Nightmare Alley? I'd swear it was Lord Stimson Throckmorton Pettisford III. Well, it was in a Playbill after all, maybe they were trying to appeal to the Theatre crowd. Despite the High Class Threads, there was nothing refined or high class about dropping dead at 44 from a massive heart attack due to years of chain smoking. That's way too young to go.*
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Mmmmmm, Schaefer Beer. Goes down smooth. Hedy could pull off anything.
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Another sad case. Ann Sheridan developed esophageal cancer. She had been a chain smoker for years. She died at 51.*
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Adolphe was apparently too good for a photo and demanded a woodcut. He died of hepatitis, which can be caused by alcohol abuse but I'm not familiar with Menjou's drinking habits so I can't say for sure if that was the cause. If anyone knows, fill me in.
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Claudette loved Chesterfields so much she did an ad a year (I have several more from other Playbills). She also lived to be 93.
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And now my favorite, the Seagram's Ad praising The Lost Weekend. Milland isn't actually hawking the product for them here but I love how Seagram's understood that when the biggest film of the year is about alcoholism, a scant 12 years after it's been made legal again, it's time to save face - and fast! But my favorite part is this:
"...some men should not drink! Yes, that is our most earnest conviction. Indeed, we published back in 1938 a moderation message titled with those identical words... "SOME MEN SHOULD NOT DRINK" ...which might well have been the name for this great picture instead of "The Lost Weekend."
I think we can all be thankful to the powers that be that Seagrams was not in charge of naming movies for Hollywood. Still... it would have been kind of fun.
The Godfather --- Some Men Should Not Take Over the Family Business!
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest --- Some Men Should Not Feign Mental Illness to Avoid Serving Time!
The Bridge on the River Kwai --- Some Men Should Not be in Charge of Construction of Bridges for the Enemy while Being Held as a Prisoner of War!Dracula --- Some Men Should Not Drink ... Wine. And Don't!Frankenstein --- Some Men Should Not Play God by Sending a Lab Assistant to Steal a Brain That They Can Insert Into the Skull of a Corpse They Have Stolen from the Cemetery!
20,0000 Leagues Under the Sea --- Some Men Should Not Build Atomic Submarines!
Psycho --- Some Men Should Not Run Motels!
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*Can you tell I'm trying to get myself ready to quit smoking in the next couple of weeks?
46 comments:
Fitzcarraldo - Some men should not be building contractors.
Auntie Mame - Some men should not go mountain climbing with gold-digging wives.
The Man Who Would Be King - Some men should not fool all of the natives all of the time.
Vertigo - Some Men Should Not Be Assigned to Follow Women Who Scale Bell Towers!
Taxi Driver - Some Men Should Not Become Obsessed With 12 Year Old Hookers!
That Seagram's ad is ballsy. I tip my cap to them.
I'm trying to come up with with a good joke involving a "Hedy" of beer, and "going down smooth".
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- Some men shouldn't make sequels.
OMG... Claudette Colbert is sooooooooo adorable! Seriously. If I had some wishes, I would use one of them to travel back in time and try to date her!!
Jonathan-
I like the observation about Stars and sin products and how it doesn't happen anymore. Shame. I would love to see Brad Pitt doing a commercial for Trojans or something. Where has the fun gone???
p.s. I'm surprised to hear that you're a smoker. Not that I'm against smoking, I just didn't picture you that way.
That Seagram's ad is ballsy. I tip my cap to them.
Yep, it's called nipping it in the bud.
Seagrams Exec 1: "There's this movie out, Lost Something or Other, about some guy who's an alcoholic. It's pretty big, might make us look bad."
Seagrams Exec 2: "Put out an ad that says we're against drinking too. Make sure you get the words "drink" and "Seagrams" in there as much as possible."
I'm trying to come up with with a good joke involving a "Hedy" of beer, and "going down smooth".
I think you just did.
King Kong - Some Men Shouldn't Bring Back 40 Foot Gorillas from Remote Islands!
Fox, Claudette Colbert always personified "class" to me. And I will watch a movie just because she's in it.
Yes, I'm a smoker. Bill is too. We've brought it up a few times here before. I don't know if Bill has any plans to quit soon but I feel I need to. I laid off of them for a while and went years where I just needed a cigar and a couple of cigarettes every now and then to satisfy me. Now it's full fledged cigarettes all the time again and I'm not a teenager anymore. Eventually, it catches up with you.
Citizen Kane - Some men shouldn't get hung up on sleds.
Island of Lost Souls - Some Men Should Not Create Animal/Human Hybrids!
Gone With The Wind - Some people shouldn't move to Atlanta.
P.S. I think smoking is kinda cool. I know it's not cool to say that, but... I especially like it when cute ladies smoke.
I look totally awesome when I smoke. When people pass me and make 'coughing' noises, they're doin' it outta respect!
Lips that touch a filter tip will never touch mine!
Lips that touch a filter tip will never touch mine!
You just broke Bill's heart.
I'll quit! I promise!
I smoke less than your average smoker -- I know that probably doesn't cut any ice with you, Marilyn, but it's true.
But I look cool when I smoke, too. Before I light up, I look like a large, bespectacled goon. After I light up -- bam! Robert Mitchum.
Robert Mitchum, eh? I hear more like Robert Morley.
Well. I see. Jonathan, thank you so much for having me as your guest, but I really think that it's time I took my leave. Good day to you Jonathan, have a wonderful afternoon, Fox. Rick, it's beena pleasure, as always. Peter, I do hope we can meet again sometime.
Marilyn.
Lips that touch a filter tip will never touch mine!
So if one smokes unfiltered Pall Malls it's okay? I think that's what Bill smokes.
And just so everyone knows, I've seen Bill and he's not exaggerating: Robert Mitchum, baby, all the way. With an attitude!
Besides my wife (my #1 love!), the two other women I've loved in my life were smokers and regular drinkers. So, I've been conditioned to not mind smokey alcohal breath when I'm making out. In fact, in a weird way, I kinda like it.
Where I live, I've got chain smokers across the back courtyard (a courtyard in name only, not for use), someone who smokes in the front courtyard and people above us who smoke pot. I just want to live somewhere where I don't have to breathe other people's filth. Is that too much to ask? Is it too much to ask that my 19 month old son's bedroom not smell like a teacher's lounge?
These questions are for God.
And just so everyone knows, I've seen Bill and he's not exaggerating
That one is now up on a tee for Arbo to take a swing at.
Poor Bill. OK, I'll go with Robert Morse. He's kinda cute.
I just want to live somewhere where I don't have to breathe other people's filth. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be quit in two weeks. You can rent out my garage.
Marilyn, you should go to Bill's blog right now and tell him you'll kiss him.
And Fox, just for good measure, you should tell him you'll kiss him too.
I can't respond to any of this, because I've left.
I don't know if Bill has seen these comments because I'm not here either.
Bill's probably reading one of his books.
That would be so like him.
Jonathan's probably cleaning out his garage to make room for Arbo.
I think Jonathan's probably off somewhere not smoking.
Well he sure isn't reading these comments [inhales deeply, exhales smoke, whispers a satisfied "Aaah" sound] and he certainly isn't smoking!
Jonathan's probably cleaning out his garage to make room for Arbo.
And his family I would hope, right? Will Lil' Arbo and Lil' Arborette have refrigerator privileges inside the Lapper house?
Will Lil' Arbo and Lil' Arborette have refrigerator privileges inside the Lapper house?
No need, there's a cooler and an old thermos in the garage.
"Is it too much to ask that my 19 month old son's bedroom not smell like a teacher's lounge?" is now my favorite comment anywhere anytime.
"Is it too much to ask that my 19 month old son's bedroom not smell like a teacher's lounge?" is now my favorite comment anywhere anytime.
It happened here folks. Arbo was inspired by my post of course.
"Is it too much to ask that my 19 month old son's bedroom not smell like a teacher's lounge?" is now my favorite comment anywhere anytime.
It happened here folks. Arbo was inspired by my post of course.
Look... that's a quote within a quote within a quote!!! That's freakin' my sh*t out!!
But, anyways, Neil, what about Bill's classic comment of "boobs"?
I think that goes both ways. I think there are a lot of teachers who wish their classrooms didn't smell like a 19-month old's room. So should we ban smoking and dirtying one's diaper?
Definitely the latter. Sorry, Fox.
Bill... I trusted you.
Hey Jonathan-
Mr. Rick Olson is still going strong on that one Actress post of his. He's at 124 comments and I think he is going after your 200 comment record.
Just thought you should know...
It was 204. And he'll never get there.
So should we ban ... dirtying one's diaper?
Where do I sign?!
Too late for me. The ban wouldn't impact my life in any way now.
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