There's a moment in the movie Sneakers, a slight, throwaway thriller with Robert Redford and Ben Kingsley, when Kingsley becomes suspicious of Mary McDonnell because she remarks that she'll never do computer dating again after her date, played by the wonderful Stephen Tobolowsky, has dragged her to his office accusing her of stealing information from him. Kingsley stops dead in his tracks and says, "Wait a minute. A computer matched you to him?"
When I saw the movie I immediately thought of The Wolfman made in 1941. I accept that Lon Chaney, Jr turns into a wolf during nights when there is a full moon. I accept that the only way
to kill him is with silver, as when he is beaten to death with a silver handled cane. I can even accept that the also wonderful Maria Ouspenskaya chooses to live with a man she knows to be a werewolf. But Lon Chaney, Jr as Claude Rains son? That's a bit of a stretch.
So I ask myself, "What must Mrs. Talbot have looked like?" After all, Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney, Jr) is what, nine feet tall and John Talbot (Claude Rains) four foot two? So I'm thinking John must've liked 'em big. They must have been one of those adorable couples where the woman towers over the man, can pick him up and throw 
him on the bed any time she likes and he takes care of her like she's a dainty flower. I would've like to have seen them together. And the fact that John went for a woman like that endears him to me even more. It shows he was a fun-loving guy with a depth of character. He wasn't fooled by a waifish pretty woman with a twinkle in her eye. He wanted character, substance. He wanted someone he could have a good time with, someone he could have great conversations with and someone who could make love to him with a passion that far exceeded a five minute roll in the hay performed by rote. I bet they were a great couple. They had to be to produce someone as sweet as Larry. It makes the tragedy of the ending all the more difficult to take. John has now lost both of the big lugs in his life, and the second by his own hand. I feel for him, I really do. And when I think of John and his dearly departed wife I can't help but think, "They must've been quite a pair!"
48 comments:
Margaret Dumont crossed with Marina Navriitlova.
Elsa Lanchester crossed with Margaret Hamilton.
Julie Newmar (hubba hubba) crossed with just about anybody.
But with none of the stuffiness of Dumont. Mrs. Talbot would have been nobody's foil. It's funny, but over the years I've developed a kind of affection for the Mrs. Talbot I've created in my mind.
And Julie, why she's stupefyin'!
About today's banner inspired by Night of the Living Fred?
All this horror is opening all those uncivilized doors in your minds. So it is all about sex after all. No wonder Halloween is taking over from Christmas as the #1 holiday in the U.S.
Night of the Living Fred is certainly catchier than Dawn of the Macy's Sale. By the way, Gimbels sells their brains for less.
Marilyn, I would never talk dirty about Mrs. Talbot. She's a lovely woman. Now tuscaloosa, he's the one that brought up Julie Newmar and today he put up a totally sexist post on his blog that he even admits is sexist in the post. I think we should all band together and boycott Coosa Creek Mambo.
Who do I look like--Tipper Gore?
(Well, actually you don't know what I look like, but trust me, I would never wear my hair like that.)
I'm a little concerned about Fox, however. He's been getting VERY homoerotic lately. Did you seen his Women in Love pictures? Don't believe him when he says he "hearts" Anna Faris. It just ain't so!
People can say what they want about Romero having a mini-Lucas complex as far as career diversity (I would argue against that, btw...) but who could argue that he got zombie make-up 100% damn near perfect! It's still better than anything I've seen from today's amateurs. I guess Tom Savini should get that credit though, right?
COMMENTING ON THE SIDEBAR: There is something kind of disturbing about image four and image five being being next to each other.
Rick is sexist, I'm gay, Marilyn likes censorship... what will we learn next?
Jonathan Lapper isn't his real name!
I would be lying if I hadn't tried to de-scramble the letters in his moniker in order to reveal his true identity.
I like [CENSORED], but, to be honest, only when [CENSORED] [CENSORED][CENSORED] and the basketball is partly deflated.
Fox my true name is Jonathan Perpal. People always say, "Like the color?" and then I have to spell it for them.
And Fox, the fourth picture is of the wickedest witch of them all, Anita Bryant, but that name probably doesn't ring a bell with you. Let's just say she won't be opposing Prop 8 in California anytime soon.
Marilyn, how do I know you're not Tipper Gore? You might be using that old, "I'll say I'm not this person so they will never suspect I really am."
Bill, shut the fuck [CENSORED]. Oops, I meant, [CENSORED] the fuck up. No, dammit. I meant, shut [CENSORED] fuck up. There, finally got it right.
"...but that name probably doesn't ring a bell with you."
But you and Marilyn should be proud that I recognize Veronica Lake!
(PLEASE let that be Veronica Lake!)
I've listened to an Eminem record and I liked it. I'm not Tipper Gore.
Oh so that's who that was! Now I remember the pie in the face incident. I thought it was Dianne Wiest and I tried to remember what witch she played. All I could come up with was an alcoholic actress and a district attorney.
Yes Fox, the top picture of the disfigured bald crone is indeed the beautiful Veronica Lake. The second picture is, of course, Marie Dressler.
Remember that Marilyn? That was when the pie in the face stuff as an act of protest all started. It's funny, I like to put in an alternate pic or two in the sidebar with all of these (like Devil's Tower or Wolfman Jack previously) and for the witches Anita Bryant immediately popped into my head. She must've made quite an impression on me all those years ago. I still get shivers when I see an orange.
Speaking of Prop 8, I just noticed how Strangler Rick butchered iconic lesbian "Marina Navriitlova"'s name in the lead-off comment.
I just got here but what does a Brazilian facial have to do with witches?
Well, see first there was Mrs. Talbot. Then something something sexism something something. Blah, blah, blah Anita Bryant hates gay people, Marie Dressler was in Min and Bill and orange juice conjures up horrific hate imagery in my mind. It's all pretty easy to follow.
It's too bad pie throwers started getting slapped with assault and battery charges. It's such a harmless but graphic expression of disagreement.
Assault and battery for throwing a pie? I think it's a great form of protest. It immediately brings whatever it is you're protesting into the limelight and humiliates who you're protesting. As long as it's used for the forces of good. I don't want some nutjob embarrassing people I admire - or I'm gonna start throwing CAKES! Triple layer!!! With lit candles!
I think getting hit in the face with an actual pie would probably hurt more than you think. If it's just a flimsy pan filled with whipped cream, then okay (I guess). But heaving a genuine apple pie at somebody's going to be painful. And delicious!
Pie throwing is dissent for the dim-witted.
Damnit, people, you've got me jonesing for pie.
I repeat... dam nit!
You should probably buy yourself some pie, then. I'm particularly fond of blueberry and cherry pie, but I think you should get whatever you want. Enjoy!
I like cherry but I'm thinking coconut cream at the moment.
I'm trying to discern if their is some subtext to the recent exchange between Arbo and Bill, or if they just genuinely want some pie.
p.s. Remember those Hostess and Dolly Madison Fried Pies?? Dam(n)it! Now those were good!
Fried pies??? Other than the apple pies McDonald's used to sell, before they foolishly changed the recipe, I don't believe I've ever enjoyed a delicious fried pie...
I mean, they are probably gross now as an adult, but as a kid I thought they were like mana from heaven... even though I didn't know what "mana from heaven" meant as a kid.
BEHOLD THE BEAUTY! That image is seared into my brain forever.
Oh, those? I've had a million of those. Those are fried? I thought you were talking about, like, a whole blueberry pie that someoned dipped into the deep-fryer, after the french fries were done.
I don't like pies. The only thing close to a pie that I like is cheese cake.
Fox, are you calling Soupy Sales dim?
J-Lap isn't gonna be very happy with us when he gets back... we're talking about Hostess Fried Pies for chrissakes!
Also, sometimes do you kinda feel like Marilyn is the Mom of Cinema Styles, Arbo is the weird Uncle, and Rick is that brother that did something with his life???
Who's Soupy Sales?
[Dodging pies from Marilyn...]
So is Marilyn my sister then?
And who am I? Jonathan and Marilyn's dashing, charming, ne'er-do-well son?
Well, yeah, that was kind of the implication, but I'm there beside you bro', so don't sweat it.
And Arbo, yes, you and Marilyn are sibs, but you don't talk much for some reason. Maybe it had to do with your participation in THIS!
Rick did something with his life?
Goddamit Lapper!! You just made me LOL at work.
... poor ol' Rick. He's a good guy.
I'm not sweating it. I'm a charming, dashing ne'er-do-well.
Having one brother in my life is more than enough. Arbo is the brother of my late husband Gomez, who got just a little too close to that swinging pendulum and ... oh no, I can't go on.
Not without some cheesecake, that is.
The hubby would never permit me to be married to Mr. Lapper because he doesn't want the kids to be exposed to a stepfather. Also, I thought Jonathan was the God of this site. He createst and he can destroyest--and a whole lot of other ests.
Also, I thought Jonathan was the God of this site. He createst and he can destroyest--and a whole lot of other ests.
So he's kinda like the father, the son, and the holy spirit.
Amen.
Does anyone else think it's funny that I posted a piece on a guy getting his testicles crushed while Lapper posted something titled "What a pair?"
We keep telling Fox we're the same person. Maybe now he'll believe it.
The unholy trinity of blogging ... but Fox, don't you mean the father, the son and the holy spigot? This is a movie blog, after all ...
Spigot? Hey, how'd the water puns make their way over to this thread?
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