Sunday, September 7, 2008

Hey, I Said Get Your Kill Face On...


... not take if off!

*****This has been a tribute post to "The Kill Face Chronicles" of Arbogast on Film. They're kind of like the Chronicles of Narnia, only there's no Jesus/Lion figure and everyone pictured has murder on their mind. So, yeah, I guess it's not like Narnia at all. Anyway...*****

16 comments:

ARBOGAST said...

Arbogast on Film... where nothing can possibly go worng.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Not to bear bad tidings but a rattlesnake just bit me at your blog.

ARBOGAST said...

"Draaaaw."

Jonathan Lapper said...

I'm not getting myself involved any further. I'll let Dick Van Patten handle this. Sheriff!

ARBOGAST said...

Ha! I'll have Steve Franken pull the plug on you!

Jonathan Lapper said...

Think of yourself as the roly-poly tourist in Medieval World and me as the Black Knight and you'll get an idea of what you're up against.

ARBOGAST said...

No, man, you've got it wrong. You're the dungeon girl and I'm the cup of water and Fate is stupid Richard Benjamin. What's that smell? You short circuiting, you phony!

Jonathan Lapper said...

22 hours later and that's the best you could come up with? I think someone should be exiled to FutureWorld. Still, your barbs did not entirely miss their target. I have always longed to know the feeling of stroking my own nipples and becoming aroused. As dungeon girl I may finally be able to achieve this.

...

Oh and by the way, you're the scared-ass scientist in the golf cart in the desert.

You know it's true.

ARBOGAST said...

22 hours later and that's the best you could come up with?

Subtract 3 hours. I'm on Pacific time.

Jonathan Lapper said...

You'll notice your comment says 8:55 p.m. even though you posted it at 5:55 p.m. your time. So you see my dear Arbogast, the times are consistently East Coast in my comment section, no subtraction necessary. Although I should have said 21 hours, a slight misstep on my part, nothing more.


Lapper - Point, Game, Match.

Perhaps next time you will fare better against my formidable wit and skills. I wish you nothing but the best of fortune. Tally ho!

ARBOGAST said...

Oh and by the way, you're the scared-ass scientist in the golf cart in the desert.

That's Steve Franken. Oh, you're not even in my league, Lapper!

Jonathan Lapper said...

So here's what I did: Not knowing which bit parts were played by which actors I foolishly assumed that when you mentioned Steve Franken you were surely referring to the actor playing the Chief Scientist, or Supervisor, as he's listed on IMDB. I now know this to be Alan Oppenheimer.

So now we are left to ponder why someone engaged in a game of movie character oneupsmanship would use not the Chief Supervisor but the scared trembling UTTERLY INEFFECTUAL technician as the, shall we say, in fencing terms, the thrust?

Oh Arbo, you have revealed a fatal weakness in your game by making the Franken correction. You should have let it go. For now it is clear we are in two different leagues indeed. You in the Bush League and me in the Majors.

Perhaps one day you will be able to more adequately defend yourself against my skills but for now I'm afraid your meager parry has fallen far short of blocking the attack.

ARBOGAST said...

Yeah, you're in the Majors all right... the Lee Majors.

Jonathan Lapper said...

I suppose I could say something about being in Farrah or that you are in Oscar Goldman but I feel it's time to say "Touché" and put away our rapiers for another day, a more challenging game.

And now, being a gentleman, you can finally admit that the Yul Brynner kill face line of mine was better than any closer kill face line you've done yet.

"I didn't say take it off!" - hahahahaha, killer stuff, really, just killer.

ARBOGAST said...

Well look how many comments this post generated, compared to mine. Clearly the eyes of the world are on Cinema Styles (as seen in Cineaste).

Jonathan Lapper said...

Cashill and the Siren: They're smart people.