Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Shape of Things to Come (on Cinema Styles)


Raymond Massey texting a friend about the Fall Preview Trailer.

Don't forget to keep an eye out for my Fall Preview Trailer going up tomorrow. This one's even got dialogue from the classics of Hollywood cinema. Oh boy! I'm all tingly inside. To be completely honest, it doesn't really preview anything, I just wanted to make another trailer for fun. I'm in full on addictive movie making mode right now. Not only am I working on three separate clip montage movies for October but I even started working on one for another event that won't go up till next year. I'm a sad, sad man.

59 comments:

Marilyn said...

It sounds like your job is your hobby...

Jonathan Lapper said...

If so it's the most miserable hobby I've ever had. There's a pressure here to get things done, things that I have no desire to do. Oh how I envy people who actually enjoy their jobs. I am not among them but I have a family to support and the pay's good so ...

If only I could make movies for a living. Anyone got a couple a million they want to give me to finance a movie? Anyone? Bill? Fox? Rick? Any of you secret millionaires?

Jonathan Lapper said...

I think my response was a tad confusing. I was referring to my real job consuming none of my interest or time and my real hobby (blogging and movie making) consuming ALL all of my interest and time. And so I hate my real job and love my fake one.

Now if I still had Haloscan I could've just edited the original comment rather than write this new one - but I still don't miss it.

Marilyn said...

I understood you the first time. I'd rather do my blog than work, but not because I hate my job. I just find it a bit boring after all these years of making magazines. I bore easily.

Fox said...

Oh lord... if only. I have some stocks, but my wife would kill me if I turned around and invested them in Lapper Productions.

Not that you wouldn't give me a return on my investment someday, but...

Out of curiousity, what type of films would you like to make, and do you have scripts that you've written?

Fox said...

Wouldn't it be great to get paid to blog!

Marilyn, what magazines do you make? God... you're so lucky. I wouldn't say I hate my job, but it ain't as cool as making magazines! That sounds awesome.

bill said...

Jonathan - I just sent you three million dollars.

Marilyn said...

Fox - I've been a professional writer and editor my entire career. I've been a World Book Encyclopedia editor, freelanced for now-defunct magazines like Video Action (I interviewed John Houseman for one of my first articles), and edited two trade magazines in the healthcare field. Now I am the editor of the print and online Our Children from the National PTA (yes, THAT PTA.). If you've got kids, join the PTA and keep paying my salary.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Fox - First, yes it would be great to get paid to blog. Some do. But unless my readership here picks up by say, oh, 100,000 readers a day I don't see it happening. Second, I have two original movies that I am working on now, but they're both shorts. I've only done preliminary set ups, and some basic sound recording. With everything going on it'll take months.

Anyway, pretty much everything I have ever conceived has been drama. I've had some sci-fi ideas but since I have no budget I've never developed them knowing I wouldn't be able to make them anyway. But with drama, actors and dialogue are all that is required.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Bill - Thanks. I figured you'd be good for 2, maybe 2 1/2 million, but 3? You've really outdone yourself.

Jonathan Lapper said...

If you've got kids, join the PTA and keep paying my salary.

I'm on it.

bill said...

All my movie ideas tend to be about lesbians. Not expensive, maybe, but finding the right actors has been a real grind.

Fox said...

Jonathan -

Will you cast Bill as your lead?

Bill -

I've got access to tons of lesbians here in Austin, but I need to know what kind you are looking for.

See! Look at this teamwork! I think we've got something going here. Bill put out some lesbian movies, gets rich, gives money to Lapper, then Lapper invests in Marilyn's books (I'm assuming you wanna write books, Marilyn... forgive me if I am wrong on that one. Maybe Jonathan will just give you money just because.)

Jonathan Lapper said...

Bill and I worked on a movie before and had to shut it down due to artistic differences. He didn't understand why in a movie about a renegade cop fighting the system he had to wear a tin foil hat throughout the movie. I said, "Bill you're character's a loose cannon. What better way to symbolize that than by having him wear a tin foil hat?"

Bill was like, "Well, we could symbolize it by him eating cheese with lesbians all the time."

I was like, "Yeah I guess but I still like the tin foil hat idea better."

Jonathan Lapper said...

And I send Marilyn money all the time, just cause, so that's already happening.

bill said...

That cheese/lesbians idea was pure gold, Jonathan. No offense, but your inability to see that showed a very narrow artistic vision. I still hope to get that movie made some day, although I won't be in it, and there won't be any cheese. It will star Crush, Phoenix and Jet from American Gladiators. It will be a very good movie.

Fox said...

What about Chocolate & Cheese ?

There's a scene at the end of Dusan Makavejev's Sweet Movie where he has a beautiful woman bathing in chocolate for like 5-8 minutes... I could never decide if it was sexy or disgusting... anyway, I don't know if she was a lesbian (I mean, all women kind of are, right?), but maybe we could do something like that?

Jonathan Lapper said...

How did this comment thread get so, uh,... "classy?" Oh yeah, Bill mentioned lesbians.

Thanks Bill. Way to go.

bill said...

Hey, this topic sort of allowed us to kind of discuss Sweet Movie! That was put out by Criterion, so I think this conversation has been plenty classy.

Don't blame me because you don't know anything about art and whatnot.

PS - Chocolate & Cheese is a good album.

Jonathan Lapper said...

I know plenty about whatnot I'll have you know, especially the "what" part.

Seriously though, is anybody going to give me money or not?

Fox said...

Geez... Jonathan and Bill... sometimes you guys fight & bicker like a couple of married lesbians!!

Sorry to bring the topic down into where it's at now. I have a problem with taking things to the perverse at times.

But I think we should have a Sweet Movie blog-a-thon. I've always wanted to watch that movie with someone else just to see their reactions. That movie almost made me throw-up.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Bill and I were married briefly but I insisted he wear a tin foil hat every other...

Oh, never mind.

bill said...

Fox - it almost made you throw up? Oh, dear. I've been curious about Sweet Movie for a long time, but now maybe not.

Is it, like, good, or anything?

Marilyn said...

Jonathan - I very confident that the check you put in the mail will arrive any day now along with your promise to end world hunger and guarantee the Cubs will win the World Series this year.

Fox said...

Oh my god Marilyn... NOOOOOO!!!

You're a Cubs fan!?!? I'm an Astros fan!!!

I HATE the CUBS!!! >o[

But I don't hate you! :) Just know that if you see me cheering their (inevitable) collapse later this summer that it's nothing personal.

Marilyn said...

I am NOT - I repeat - NOT a Cubs fan. If you ever even insinuate that again, Fox, I'll turn you into a stole.

Fox said...

Bill-

That's my issue with Sweet Movie. I don't know what to think of it. It has amazing imagery and photography and design, but then it's also utterly disgusting in moments.

I want to watch it again - with people - to see how I feel after second viewing and to hear someone else's take. It's truly one of those rare movies where I am unsure where to stand on it. I guess I would rate it 2.5 out of 5 just because (for right now) I'm on the fence.

As for the disgusting, there is a long sequence at a type of hippie/cultish compound of people that are into all kinds of weird fetishes and behaviors. There is a dinner table scene where people are gorging themselves until they literally... well. I don't wanna take Lapper's blog into the totally depraved.

Now you GOTTA rent it, right!?!?! :)

Jonathan Lapper said...

Ooooh, oooooh turn him into a stole anyway. I'm bored.

Marilyn said...

OK, but I have to cut the head off. I hate those fox stoles that stare back at you.

Jonathan Lapper said...

That Fox - Always losing his head.

Fox said...

Marilyn -

I don't know what a stole is, but you've got me scared now... :(

(note: If I'm ever at a PTA meeting with Marilyn F., DO NOT bring up the The Cubs).

Marilyn said...

Fox stoles through the ages:

http://www.goantiques.com/detail,artic-fox-fur,1483690.html

http://www.lasplash.com/uploads/1/venexiana_fashion_honey1.jpg

Fox said...

Hey Lapper! You don't necessarily get out of this so easy mister!!

You were the one that sent me this picture of Marilyn with some "HAHAHAHA!"s behind it!

bill said...

Fox - Well, yeah, I guess I kinda do have to see it now. Oh well. I'll eat light beforehand.

But what am I saying? As soon as I could, I added Salo to my queue.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Fox, Fox, Fox [shakes head in disappointment], everyone knows if you post a picture of Marilyn you use a picture of Peggy Cummins. Come on man, get with the program.

Bill - I finally saw Salo and thought it was a poser of a flick. Really bored me to tears. Tell me what you think. It kept trying over and over to shock my sensibilities and it didn't.

You know how you shock someone in a movie (as opposed to just grossing out) - You create a character they care deeply for and then when they are least suspecting it you do something horrifying to that character. Or in the reverse, take a character you're fascinated by but find deplorable and have them do something shocking to an innocent, ala Henry the Serial Killer's home invasion. Salo doesn't get that. It's too self-satisfied thinking just by producing grostesque imagery that it is shocking you into some sort of awareness. Yaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn.

bill said...

Yes, but the allegory, Jonathan! The allegory!!!

To be honest, as a movie, I've never expected much from Salo, but it's one of those "notorious" movies that I feel I need to see just so I can be in on it. That's maybe a little pathetic, but I think we've all been there.

Although I have my limits. I feel no urge whatsoever to see Pink Flamingos, and I steer clear of movies that feature the actual killing of animals on-screen (and I'm talking about animals killed just for the movie, for shock value).

Marilyn said...

Fox - What Jonathan sent you was a picture I SNAPPED. It was right after I told that girl that she was a loser and her team was full of losers and that blue is definitely not her color.

ARBOGAST said...

I get paid to blog but I'm still in the hole... and it's full of lesbians. The Dorothy Arzner kind.

Fox said...

Lesbian Hole

There's the name for your film, Bill.

Marilyn, do you have another team? Or do you hate sports in general?

Fox said...

btw... you know what I will miss about Haloscan the most?

That Arbo can't sign off with his trademark Arbogast Up Your Ass! moniker anymore.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Well at least he can sign off now and not have his comments disappear into the ether. Besides, you can always think of Arbo being up your ass if you want. No one's stopping you.

Lesbian Hole - Could be Bill's blog name too. That Arbo, always leading us to the best ideas.

Marilyn said...

I don't watch sports much anymore, except for swimming and cross-country skiing. I used to be a big Bears fan until I almost threw a full beer can at my TV.

Lesbian Hole. I think Courtney Love snapped up that name.

Fox said...

Thank you for making me laugh so hard my boss had to come check on me...

She was like "What's that?"

And I was like "Oh... it's a blog called Cinema Styles. It's like an online gay bar where us guys can go to hang out... oh, and there's one woman that hangs around with us."

Fox said...

See! Marilyn is into bears! :)

"...until I almost threw a full beer can at my TV."

That's one of the hottest things I've ever heard.

It's kinda like when my ex-girlfriend farted on the drive-way the first night we met her and I instantly knew she was amazing.

Jonathan Lapper said...

You're one of a kind Fox. I don't what else to say.

bill said...

"Farting on the Driveway". That's it. I have a name for my blog.

Fox said...

Well, if anything, at least we now know that it only takes 46 comments to get from Raymond Massey to a blog called "Farting On the Driveway".

btw... Do you think a whole bunch of readers are reading this right now thinking "man, those guys are AWESOME!" ?

bill said...

I believe that everyone on the whole internet is thinking that.

Marilyn said...

Fox - You must be a chick magnet. Women love guys who let them be themselves. That's probably why your boss lets you read blogs during working hours.

ARBOGAST said...

It's kinda like when my ex-girlfriend farted on the drive-way

Literally on it? Like, specifically, on her haunches, skirt raised?

That is awesome!

Jonathan Lapper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jonathan Lapper said...

Driveways were made for farting. But had she taken a dump, I'm thinking that would've been a turn off.

Rick Olson said...

"btw... Do you think a whole bunch of readers are reading this right now thinking "man, those guys are AWESOME!" ?

No. A whole bunch of readers are reading this right now and thinking "How can I get out of that high-speed internet agreement I signed?"

Jonathan Lapper said...

Rick, I'm wounded. What did I do to receive such hate? Well, I still have nothing but high regards for you Rick Olson even you choose to take the low road. [Jonathan laughs to self, "Hehe, that oughta shut him up but good."]

Wait a minute, did I just write out what I said?

Jonathan Lapper said...

And check out the preview trailer. I'm going to hold you to what's announced in it. You'll understand when you see it.

Rick Olson said...

I await with bated breath. And flattened feet, and -- yes -- a healthy amount of fear.

I'm just glad I was on the road this afternoon and didn't have to comment directly on Fox's farting girlfriend.

Jonathan Lapper said...

I envy you.

Fox said...

Rick!?!? OUCH!!

I was just telling my mom & dad how you are one of the coolest bloggers in the world, and then I get online and hear that?? Rough, man... rough.

And Marilyn, not anymore. Well, maybe I'm still magnetized, one of them finally made me marry them. So you know, the wedding ring kinda scares them away. However, for you married folk, have you noticed that sometimes single people are sometimes TURNED ON by the fact that you're married???? Marilyn, at your next PTA meeting, will you please bring this up as an agenda item for all the moms there. I mean, it's really cruel to do to a man!!

And so... yes... about that fart.

It is true. It did happen. Not as awesome as Arbo described, though. We were sitting down already and she had tight jeans on so it had a nice rip to it,... but no lifting of the skirt. Now THAT woulda been epic.

And Jonathan makes a very good distinction between the pleasures (speaking for myself here...) of meeting a fine woman that isn't afraid to fart vs. a fine woman that poops her pants. Um... poop is bad.

Though... I was hanging out with a girl one time that Hershey squirted in her pants on the way to see Hollywood Ending. (Arbo, Bill, Lapper... go ahead and bring those jokes that are forming in your brains.) And she is a lovely, fine woman. It was just an accident.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Fox, you have truly elevated the level of discourse on this comment thread more than I could have ever expected. Thanks. Now, please, for the love of God - Stop. Reel it in, pull back, take a breath. Okay, there now, feel better. Okay. Good. You can comment tomorrow about the trailer but no hershey squirt or fart stories. I think I have enough here to last me a lifetime.