Thursday, August 21, 2008

Oh Sonny. Sonny, Sonny, Sonny...


I'm disappointed in you. Sorry, but I didn't think you were this gullible. Carlo beating up your sister? It's such obvious bait. And here you are taking it hook, line and sinker. You know Sonny, sometimes I think Michael's the one who's going to eventually take over the family. Hey, don't laugh, it could happen. He's cool and calculated, not a hothead like you.

Sonny, can you please take your knuckle out of your mouth while I'm talking to you? Thanks. Look, I know you're upset about this but I say we sit down, open a bottle of vino - Connie, you got a bottle of wine in there? You do? Great, can you bring it out, thanks. What am I saying, Connie sit down, I'll get it. You've been through enough.

Now Sonny listen.... Sonny where you going? Sonny stop! I'm telling you, you're falling for a doozy here. Okay, alright fine, do what you want to do, see if I care! Excuse me for trying to help.

What's that? Change for the turnpike toll? Call it a hunch, but I don't think you're going to need it.

37 comments:

bill r. said...

And sonny, don't go to that tollbooth with nothing but your dick in your hand, you schtuntz.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Allow me to express some further disappointment Sonny. You make it seem like you're the natural heir to the throne right? And yet, you didn't even know what fish wrapped in newspaper meant. That's embarrassing Sonny. Someone hasn't been doing their homework. Maybe if you spent a little less time banging bridesmaids at your sister's wedding and a little more time hitting the books you wouldn't be in the situation you are today.

Marilyn said...

"Look how they've massacred my boy."

Oh Sonny Boy, the pipes the pipes are blowing...

Jonathan Lapper said...

The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying.

I think I'm going to cry.

bill r. said...

That's a good point about "sleeping with the fishes". Tessio knew what it meant. No wonder he betrayed the family. He was probably getting sick of all the dumbasses like Sonny running around acting like they knew everything, and then turning around and being all like, "Fish? In a newspaper? Is that dinner? I'm so confused!" I'd have betrayed Michael, too, if I had to listen to that crap all day.

Jonathan Lapper said...

He probably doesn't know how to make spaghetti sauce either. What a maroon. Tessio had to be thinking the apple fell pretty far from the tree huh? Didn't know about the fish thing - how embarrassing.

Marilyn said...

I don't know if you know this, but Gov. Lester Maddox's official portrait hanging in the Georgia Capitol building features a fish wrapped in a copy of the Atlanta Constitution newspaper (strangest official portrait I've ever seen). Maybe he ordered the hit on Sonny.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Sonny probably tried to eat at Pickricks and was kept out then forced his way in, forever burning a bridge between he and Lester.

You know, I wrote a thing on my first now defunct blog, where I got all Sonny-like hotheaded about politics, on Lester Maddox and couldn't find a picture of that portrait anywhere but I really want to see it out of curiosity. Anyone got a link to an image of it? I can't find it on Google images.

Marilyn said...

I couldn't find one. I saw it in person on the worst business trip (maybe any trip) of my life. Fitting somehow.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Fox - You link pics alot. Help us out. Find the Maddox pic.

ARBOGAST said...

schtunz.

I don't know what it is about Italian Americans when they make their native tongue sound like somebody else's native tongue. The real word being used here is "stronsa," which means little piece of shit. I ask and I ask how these things happen and I always wind up with ungatz.

bill r. said...

Hey, I was close.

I always thought that word was strange, because it sounds Yiddish.

Fox said...

No luck yet on the portrait, but there is this.

Speaking of Sonny... his chest hair in that tank top kinda freaked me out. And he has such right angle soldiers that accentuated it. I always thought he was so cool for getting with that bridesmaid in the bathroom during Connie's wedding.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Va fongool that's what I say. Hey I just checked out an Italian-American slang dictionary (which I shouldn't have to being part Italian but I never joined the Mafia so...) and half the words there look yiddish.

Sonny ... what a putz.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Thought it was cool huh Fox? Well I guess you won't be taking over the family anytime soon will ya?

And thanks for the pic. That official Governor portrait must be pretty well guarded or something. I mean, not a single copy floating about the internet? Hard to believe. I say we make the Maddox portrait the Holy Grail of Internet images. If someone can find they get some kind of a prize. Maybe a rotting sandwich or something. Or maybe a collection of old, discarded toilet paper. Something befitting of the legacy of Lester.

bill r. said...

"The Jew laughed at Lester Maddox, and the audience laughed at Lester Maddox, too."

It's a Randy Newman kinda day, apparently.

Fox said...

Sonny taught me at an early age that infidelity is cool. Heck, Michael did it too!

If I can find the Lester Maddox pic before Marilyn does then she has to wear a Greg Maddox jersey from his Cubs era.

Fox said...

Awww... Randy Newman! I could kiss you Bill! "Marie" is one of my favorites from that album. That and "A Wedding in Cherokee County".

bill r. said...

But that album also has "Louisiana 1927" and "Guilty". It doesn't get any better than those two. Although I do like "Marie", as well (I'm less familiar with "A Wedding in Cherokee Country". It's been a while since I listened to it).

Fox said...

I don't know if it should, but it kinda creeps me out when they always play "Louisiana 1927" with Katrina footage.

Jonathan Lapper said...

They're trying to wash us away, they're trying to wash us away.

That and "Marie" are beautiful musically and brilliant lyrically. I listened to them both when I was a kid and it took me some time before it finally dawned on my as I got old how awful the narrator of Marie is and how embittered the narrator of "Louisiana" is.

Fox - If I can find the Lester Maddox pic before Marilyn does then she has to wear a Greg Maddox jersey from his Cubs era.

Just try enforcing that one buddy. You might find yourself sleeping with the fishes. Marilyn is not to be trifled with.

Fox said...

Jonathan, ditto for that on his song "Suzanne". I remember listening to it and thinking "aw, this is a nice little song..." and then I listened to the lyrics... YIKES!

Don't try and run away from me, little girl/ Wherever you go I'll find you/ And when you go to the pictures/ And I know you do/ Don't take no one with you/ 'Cause I'll be there, too.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Or how about "Sail Away?" Again my problem was that I started listening to this stuff when I was ten and most of it flew right over my head. I thought, "Oh he's describing how beautiful the landscapes of the South are." When I finally realized the narrator is a slaver in the Congo duping someone into coming aboard I was stunned. Newman comes up with some of the most despicable narrators in music. It's fascinating because so many songwriters just make the narrator themselves rather than writing the song as a story with the narrator being whoever fits the story best.

I must admit though, by the eighties, his songs started to lose me. I think he reached his peak in the seventies and began concentrating on film scoring and song scoring and his album work suffered. "Trouble in Paradise" is just bleak and depressing with little of the poignancy of those earlier albums.

bill r. said...

Hey, now, Bad Love is one of his very best albums. I know what you mean about his stuff post Good Old Boys -- although there's great stuff on all his albums -- but Bad Love was, I thought, a real return to form. His new one, Harps and Angels is...I don't know yet. I haven't listened to it all. There are some things, politically and philosophically, that I can't get behind, and which he lays on pretty thick on the new one. Maybe I need to just try and appreciate the artistry of it all. I can do that with a song like "He Gives Us All His Love", even though what he's saying isn't how I see things.

Another great deluded narrator: the guy from "You Can Leave Your Hat On". "I know what love is."

Anyway, there's no one like Randy Newman. I'm not the world's biggest Garrison Keillor fan, but I remember listening to him once when he had Newman as a guest, and after Newman performed, Keillor shook his hand and said, "I feel like I'm shaking hands with Cole Porter." What a great thing to say, and I think it's a very fair comparison.

Fox said...

You guys are much deeper into his catalog than I am. I just have the "accepted essentials" for him.... Sail Away, Good Old Boys, and 12 Songs.

I've read that the new album that came out like last week is supposed to be good too. Well, I just read that from one dude in Rolling Stone (and I think it was David Fricke who likes pretty much everything...).

My fave album of the 3 I've heard is 12 Songs, and I think "Rosemary" is my fave song of his.

Wow... Randy Newman talk on this blog, Mamet talk on Bill's! What a day!

Jonathan Lapper said...

Another of his later songs I like (and I like stuff from "Trouble in Paradise", obviously from my comments on your blog earlier) is "I Miss You" - I love the line, "I'd give my soul - and your soul too..." It's so utterly selfish and undercuts the narrator's sentiments completely.

And yes, some of his stuff is laid on pretty thick. Even a ten year old has no problem with the satire of "Political Science" - it's pretty blunt.

Jennythenipper said...

OK, weird, but I was just writing a post for my blog today that referenced Sonny falling for Carlo's trick. I was comparing it Little Ceasar falling for the "he's a coward" newspaper stories.

My blog post will be up tommorow at:Cinemaocd.blogspot.com

Jennythenipper said...

Also anybody notice that that Sonny's wife was about a million times hotter than the bridesmaid?

WTF, dude, show some class.

Jonathan Lapper said...

First off, Jenny, I put your blog on my blogroll. Great blog, so I'm glad you stopped by. Second, blog overlap happens to me all the time. Sometimes I ditch a post I'm going to do because I read someone else writing about the same damn thing just days before I was about to do it.

Or my Glinda the Good Witch public scold that directly preceded this one. Afterwards a commenter suggests I should watch the MadTV skit that covers the same ground. But I'm glad I didn't see it before or I wouldn't have done it, although I think mine was funnier because it was me, not Dorothy, and I threatened to destroy Glinda, always a good thing in these cases.

Someone once said if you do a simple search before you post something you'll find someone else did it first. Problem is, who wants to isolate themselves from other movie blogs? Not me at least.

bill r. said...

I did that before my Dostoyevsky/Taxi Driver post. Surprisingly, there didn't seem to be much, but there was one thing, which seemed to have been part of the comments section in and old Scorsese post over at Scanners. I chose not to click on the link.

Fox said...

I wasn't gonna say anything... but since the bag is open...

Bill -

Jonathan actually stole the Freaks clip as a "Welcome to Bill" idea from me. I was gonna do it but I was unsure so I e-mailed Jonathan for some advice.

He said, "Good idea, now I'm gonna steal it you sucka!"

And I was like "Yeah right..."

And He was like "For real, kid. I WILL SHOOT YOU!"

And he did. And now I'm in the hospital. Blogging is war.

bill r. said...

Holy shit. I wish you'd told me this earlier. Starting a blog doesn't seem like such a great idea now.

Jonathan Lapper said...

You get to the point where you stop worrying about it, although you may already be there after so much time on the blogs commenting. The whole point of that quote about doing a simple search (someone really did say it online, just can't remember where I read it) is that with 250 million blogs in existence if you worry about posting something that someone else already did you'll never get anything posted. Besides, maybe you'll do it better.

ARBOGAST said...

Man it's hard, just to live.

Jonathan Lapper said...

I love Baltimore! I sing it in my head every time I go there, which is often since it's just a fifteen minute drive from my house.

Craig said...

Sonny, can you please take your knuckle out of your mouth while I'm talking to you?

Thanks, this makes my day.

Jonathan Lapper said...

The knuckle in the mouth is the first thing I think of when I think of Sonny. That physical moment burned itself onto my mind.