No big posts today, I've got too much to do. Larry Crocket called to say that he's got a great house for me to buy. Used to belong to some guy named Marsten years ago. Anywho, the current occupants are two guys named Straker and Barlow. I met Straker at his antique shop the other day. Nice guy. Haven't met Barlow yet but Straker told me, "You'll enjoy Mr. Barlow, and he'll enjoy you." Boy what a couple of swell guys!
So I'm going over there for dinner tonight to talk about the house, maybe help them hand out some candy to the trick or treaters. Straker promised me that Barlow would answer the door. I asked him to make sure he does because I really want to meet him and also because they're such great guys I'm going to surprise them with a couple of "moving out" presents.
First, since they're into antiques, I got this huge crucifix, I mean it's like three feet tall, and it's really old. Big-ass figure of Jesus on it and everything. And it's been doused in holy water from the Vatican and blessed by the Pope! Man they are going to love it!
Then, since they seem all European and sophisticated-like, I'm going to bring them a whole bushel of elephant garlic from my garden that they can use in their recipes. They'll love me!
Oh yeah, and you can't bring somebody a house gift that doesn't include something for the garden. Well, let me tell you I've got just the thing - Wolfbane! Tons of it! It's a perennial so I'll know they'll be happy.
Finally, since Barlow doesn't get out much (he's never at the shop with Straker!) I am totally going to make his day. I got a great deal on sunlight simulator lamps just last week - 5,000 watts baby!
So here's the thing and I'm really excited about it: I'm going to set up the lamps outside the door, drape the garlic around my neck, cover the threshold with wolfbane petals and hold the crucifix straight out in front of me after I knock on the door. When the door opens the lamps go on and boy oh boy are they going to be surprised! They just may give me the house for free after they see what a great guy I am.